TV Troubles
by ForThoseWhoLikeToMoveItMoveIt
Summary: "Monster trucks, men. Monster trucks." One-shot.


**Author's Note: Created by PoMlovah611 and I. **

**~Natty.**

* * *

_TV Troubles._

_~PoM~_

"Ey, turn tha tv!" Rico complained, pointing at the Lunacorn garbage the private was watching. He wanted to watch the monster truck rally.

Private whined. "Aaw but Rico! Princess Self-Respectra just asked Prince Shares-a-lot how to-"

"No!" The weapon's expert exclaimed and snatched the lad's pony toy. He chucked it to the other side of the HQ.

"AAh! Princess Self-Respectra!" the boy shrieked as he ran after the toy, leaving the tv remote behind.

"Ehehehe…" Rico cackled as he plopped in front of the television, changing the channel. The monster trucks played strong. He watched intrigued.

Private bent over and picked up his Lunacorn. "Oh dear... oh..." he mumbled, stroking her ruffled mane and tail. Then the telly was turned to a different channel. He cringed at the loud sound of engine and wheels... He covered his ear holes with his flippers and turned to the mo-hawked penguin. "R-R-Rico! C-could you kindly turn it down a bit?" he shouted.

"Nuh-uh!" Rico shook his head.

"Pleeeeaase Rico! It h-h-hurts!"

"No!"

"S-S-SKIP-PAAAH!" Private called.

"Ey! Tattle-tah!" Rico babbled angrily at the young cadet and called himself. "'kipper!"

Suddenly the lab door burst open. Kowalski's top leaned out. "Grrrrr-WOULD YOU TWO KEEP IT DOWN!?" he waved his flipper in the air angrily.

"'KIPPER!" Rico called, trying to be louder than Private.

"AND THAT INCLUDES YOU!" Kowalski snarled at Rico.

"ABAGAMANAHUH!" Rico yelled at the analyst.

"QUIET!" Kowalski jumped out with a ray gun, turned a knob then zapped the weapons expert.

Rico screamed louder at the scientist but no sound came out. This made him angrier and so he picked up the table still trying to scream his lungs out.

Kowalski relaxed a bit. "Don't even bother trying, Rico. The ray I built is designed to practically mute the zapped subject for uh..." he looked at the knob he turned. "F-five minutes..."

"A-are you sure thats a good idea K'walski?" Private chirped in.

"Why do you ask?" Kowalski lowered the ray a bit.

Private whimpered as he pointed a flipper. "Th-that..."

Kowalski turned to look...

Rico was destroying everything in the HQ...silently.

"GAH!" Kowalski gasped. He put the ray in the lab and shut the door before returning. "Quick help me restrain him!"

"No I don't think I'd like to do that!" Private squeaked in fear as he backed away.

Kowalski grunted. "C'mon!" He grabbed the private's flipper and draggred him along.

Private whimpered and tried to pull away, resisting. "No! No, K'walski!"

"Maneuver Alpha Tango Foxtrot, Private! Hyah!" Kowalski threw the boy at the rampaging penguin.

"AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHH!" Private screamed as he was thrown through the air, he slammed into the weapon's expert hard.

Rico hit the wall, shook it off and his beak babbled with no sound coming out violently. He picked up the private and threw him right back at Kowalski.

The boy knocked the scientist down to the ground. They quickly stood up and Kowalski let out a frustrated grunt. "Private! What was that!? I mentioned Maneuver Alpha Tango Foxtrot, didn't I?"

"I don't know what that even IS!" Private shot back bitterly.

Kowalski shook his head. "N-never mind... the 5 minutes should be up any-"

"ABLAAGGAGAHHBABBABABDAAHHUHAHAAAAAAAAA!" Rico threw the television against the bunks with a sickening crash.

"AAAAH! THE TELLY!" Private cried.

Rico realized what he'd done and gasped loudly.

At that second the three soldiers heard the fishbowl slide aside and there were webbed feet coming down the ladder. "WHAT in the name of great Alaskan smoked salmon is GOING ON down here!" Skipper demanded.

"'Walski did it!" Rico pointed automatically.

"WHAT!? No Skipper I didn't-"

"Uh-huh!" Rico insisted. The weapon's expert gave a long babbled and garbled explanation to defend his case including shooting flipper gestures.

"Kowalski," Skipper eyed him. "Is that true? Did you shoot Rico with one of your inventions?"

Kowalski looked around nervously. "Uhm... well, Skipper... I uh..."

"Private," The leader looked to the young one. "Did you see Kowalski shoot Rico with one of his inventions? Yes or no?"

Kowalski waved his flippers in front of him while shaking his head fearfully.

Private looked at him then at Skipper. He opened his beak to reply but Kowalski cut it.

"Skipper, let me explain!" The analyst begged.

Skipper held a flipper to silence the lieutenant. "Private...?" He baited the kid in a mock hurt tone. "You're not about to lie to your commanding officer...are you?"

Private bit his bill and gulped, shaking slightly. "N-no Skippah..."

"Then I'll ask you again, DID you or DID you NOT see Kowalski shoot Rico with one of his inventions?"

"Did, sir..." The private answered in a mumble.

Kowalski went pale. "S-Skipper please if you just let me-"

Skipper cut in, staring at the scientist now. "NOW you can explain yourself."

"Skipper, the two were arguing. I had to do SOMETHING! And I just happened to JUST NOW make an Inaudiblizer... and it worked like a charm!" Kowalski started giggling at himself. He looked back at Skipper then blinked and cleared his throat. "And I just HAD to test it and... and... gh... it was all in a fit of blind rage, Skipper!" The analyst reasoned.

"Kowalski! You can't silence RICO! That's a death wish waiting to happen! And look what happens! Look at my HQ!" Skipper gestured in despair to the completely mangled and destroyed state of their home.

Kowalski hid his flippers behind his back and looked away like a guilty little chick.

Skipper turned to Private and Rico. "And just what the heck were you two arguing about? You know we have no inner battles in this unit! Explain yourselves!"

Rico opened his beak, starting to point to the private when he was cut off.

"And no false pointing flippers!" Skipper exclaimed.

"Aw…" Rico moped and lowered his flippers.

"Private?" Skipper looked to the little penguin for his explanation.

"Rico stole the telly from me!" The boy whined. "I was in the middle of watching the Lunacorns! And it was getting good too!"

"Rico, why'd you take the TV from Private?" Skipper asked,

"Aww! Buhwaahmaahuh!" The weapon's expert defended.

"What? How come nobody told me the monster truck rally was on!?" Skipper whined. The leader shook his head. "I mean...It doesn't matter. That was PRIVATE'S TV time and he has a right to it!"

"Hmph!" Private nodded in agreement.

"No showboating!" Skipper scolded the kid. "Now I want this place cleaned up, comprende?"

"Aye sir..." Private looked down.

"Uh-huh..." Rico nodded glumly.

Kowalski was too busy murmuring to himself to listen.

"Kowalski! I said comprende, soldier!" Skipper barked.

"Huh what?" The lieutenant looked at the leader.

"Clean this place up! Pronto!" Skipper clarified.

"O-oh! Right! Y-yes sir." Kowalski saluted.

As the private and weapon's expert started to get to work, Skipper pulled the analyst aside. "And Kowalski?"

"Yes, Skipper?" Kowalski grinned nervously at him.

"Don't try to silence Rico, mkay?" Skipper said understandingly. "That's Ms. Perky's job." He looked to the plastic woman in the corner.

With a broom in his hand, Rico purred and winked at the doll seductively. "Ey baby." He blew her a kiss.

"Hey! No flirting on the job, Rico! Save it for later!" Skipper scolded and the weapon's expert got back to cleaning.

Kowalski sighed. "Aye Skipper." Then he walked over to the broken TV to pick up the glass pieces.

"Skippah?" Private raised his flipper.

Skipper turned and raised a brow to the boy in question.

"When'll we get a new telly?" The private asked.

Skipper turned to the living storage unit. "Rico?"

After some rumbling and hacking, Rico hacked up a new television where the previous one had been.

"Right now." Skipper answered and he rubbed his flippers together as the TV turned on automatically to the monster truck rally. "And now boys I believe we have a mission to attend to..."

"A mission, Skippah?"

"Yes..." The leader continued with a grin, placing his flippers behind his back respectfully. "Operation:...Monster Trucks." He said and then instructed. "Someone get the popcorn."

"Woohoo!" Rico cheered and coughed up a bag of kernel.

Private frowned and gestured around the room, bucket in his flippers. "What about the mess then?"

"We'll get to it..." Skipper waved a dismissive flipper as he went up to the playing screen.

Rico sat eagerly down next to the leader, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth as he clapped the tips of his flippers in excitement. His eyes were glued to the set.

This just left Kowalski and Private standing with their cleaning supplied staring at each other.

Private shrugged and sat down his bucket, going to join the others. His flipper was slapped by Rico when he reached for the remote. "Ouch!" He rubbed his flipper and sighed. He supposed monster trucks weren't THAT bad…

Kowalski just shrugged and sat down beside Private. Softly giggling to himself excitedly.

Rico turned and whistled over to Ms. Perky. "Ey oo wanna watch?" He got no answer and grumbled as he waved her off with a flipper. Hmph. Woman.


End file.
